I deleted this.. I deleted it because I was afraid to start contoversy... I deleted it never realizing I had a comment on it... Here is the comment... "I love this, Allie. I feel the same way...if only I had researched, would my son still be alive? I remember all the times I took both of my kids to the doctor and they were stuck with a needle in their little chubby legs 6 TIMES!!! And I held them down and watched, doing nothing. Never again, if I get that chance. The vaccines should not be one-size fits all, are any of us like that? No. Good post, great post. Love all your posts. :)"
Thank you Baily's Mommy. :) You are an inspiration and I think of you and Baily often even though I only know you in this virtual world! :)
I just realized I should never feel badly for how I feel. I should never be afraid to put something down in words because I am afraid to upset someone. I won't delete anything ever again. And prayers must work somehow because I just begged and pleaded to have the "back" button go back enough so that I can copy and paste the original post! :)
MY ORIGINAL POST...
Thank you Baily's Mommy. :) You are an inspiration and I think of you and Baily often even though I only know you in this virtual world! :)
I just realized I should never feel badly for how I feel. I should never be afraid to put something down in words because I am afraid to upset someone. I won't delete anything ever again. And prayers must work somehow because I just begged and pleaded to have the "back" button go back enough so that I can copy and paste the original post! :)
MY ORIGINAL POST...
**Part of me doesn't want to post this because I am afraid of what people will think. The other part of me knows that it takes courage to go against the grain when you know something is wrong. Land of the FREE home of the BRAVE but I am being made to feel like I am not free to choose. I feel "they" are trying to scare the shit out of anyone who dares be brave enough to make a choice regarding thier children's health. So here you have it... if you don't like it I am sorry (kinda). But if you chose to bring this up with me I will no longer back down and I am ready to tell people that I don't want my kids having shots. I don't want your advice and I don't want you to try to make me feel bad. I have the US Government to do that for you.**
I am a little confused. I thought we lived here because we were FREE to do what we want and now laws are being passed that saying that children need to be vaccinated in order to legally attend school? Casey Anthony gets off FOR MURDERING her daughter and I choose not to vaccinate and am looked at by some as if I am neglecting my children? So, you guys think it is in my children's best interest to make sure they don't get an education? Are you punishing them or are you trying to scare me? Sure seems that if you don't give a crap about my kids education... I can pretty much assume you don't care about my kids at all. Could this be about something much larger perhaps. I think so. I know so.
With my first son I did no research. I trusted the health care system. Nolan has had so many vaccines I lost count. Is he fine? Yes. Did I get lucky. I believe I did. Do we know how those immunizations will effect him 50 years from now. No. That bothers me. It wasn't until I found the internet and devoured every book and study I could find digging for information on vaccines. Only then had made an informed decision NOT to give my children shots. I felt strongly about this but very alone in my decision. After being pressured by a friend and my children's old pediatrition... I gave in and got my 2 youngest their first set of immunizations. I wanted to throw up after. I felt horrible and I sat in the car thinking I failed them. I was mad at myself and sad that I felt so pressured to do it and PISSED that I gave in. I held my newborn down for them to put liquid in his mouth and stab him in the legs. I let a nurse stick my 2 year old THREE TIMES who had a broken arm and a fever just the day before. I helped them hold him down. I will never forget the look on his face or the way he cried. I will never forget how he didn't use his legs for the next 24 hours because it was too tender for him to walk. He just sat there with his arm splinted, legs sore, begging me to hold him. I watched them both sleep night after night to make sure that they were breathing. I had read too many stories of parents sharing their story of SIDS to be able to sleep. How if they knew the dangers they would have done things different. SIDS is my worst nightmare. This is just the begining of issues immunizations are responsible for. I trust Dr's.. I just trust myself more. I cried for about a day and then promised I would forgive myself. The guilt was heavy. Never again will I do something a Dr. says if I feel it is not in my kids best interest. I don't mind having conversations about shots. I don't mind if you give your kids shots IF you have researched the hell out of it and sat for hours reading and searching for information... then I would assume that you know every risk and you have decided that for you it's worth it. Go for it... but don't tell me that my kids need shots and they are a threat to the rest of you vaccinated people. You have your immunizations so why are you so afraid? You are safe, right?
I am a little confused. I thought we lived here because we were FREE to do what we want and now laws are being passed that saying that children need to be vaccinated in order to legally attend school? Casey Anthony gets off FOR MURDERING her daughter and I choose not to vaccinate and am looked at by some as if I am neglecting my children? So, you guys think it is in my children's best interest to make sure they don't get an education? Are you punishing them or are you trying to scare me? Sure seems that if you don't give a crap about my kids education... I can pretty much assume you don't care about my kids at all. Could this be about something much larger perhaps. I think so. I know so.
With my first son I did no research. I trusted the health care system. Nolan has had so many vaccines I lost count. Is he fine? Yes. Did I get lucky. I believe I did. Do we know how those immunizations will effect him 50 years from now. No. That bothers me. It wasn't until I found the internet and devoured every book and study I could find digging for information on vaccines. Only then had made an informed decision NOT to give my children shots. I felt strongly about this but very alone in my decision. After being pressured by a friend and my children's old pediatrition... I gave in and got my 2 youngest their first set of immunizations. I wanted to throw up after. I felt horrible and I sat in the car thinking I failed them. I was mad at myself and sad that I felt so pressured to do it and PISSED that I gave in. I held my newborn down for them to put liquid in his mouth and stab him in the legs. I let a nurse stick my 2 year old THREE TIMES who had a broken arm and a fever just the day before. I helped them hold him down. I will never forget the look on his face or the way he cried. I will never forget how he didn't use his legs for the next 24 hours because it was too tender for him to walk. He just sat there with his arm splinted, legs sore, begging me to hold him. I watched them both sleep night after night to make sure that they were breathing. I had read too many stories of parents sharing their story of SIDS to be able to sleep. How if they knew the dangers they would have done things different. SIDS is my worst nightmare. This is just the begining of issues immunizations are responsible for. I trust Dr's.. I just trust myself more. I cried for about a day and then promised I would forgive myself. The guilt was heavy. Never again will I do something a Dr. says if I feel it is not in my kids best interest. I don't mind having conversations about shots. I don't mind if you give your kids shots IF you have researched the hell out of it and sat for hours reading and searching for information... then I would assume that you know every risk and you have decided that for you it's worth it. Go for it... but don't tell me that my kids need shots and they are a threat to the rest of you vaccinated people. You have your immunizations so why are you so afraid? You are safe, right?
Posted to my Facebook inbox since she wasn't able to leave a comment here so I am cutting and pasting for C.F. (mom of 3) with her permission... here is what she had to say about this post.
ReplyDeleteI really love your post! I not only felt and feel the same way, but I appreciate someone who is strong enough to put it out there. I had Marina when I was 17 years old, still in high school.Missing a day of school to go get her immunizations and thinking crap I have to do my homework tonight. Never once did I think to do my homework on a "flyer" that the pediatrician just handed me about the 5, that's right... 5 injections they put into my babies leg. I trusted my pediatrician...he was great and still is great. However...my nightmare came when Marina was 2, she was going to get the MMR shot. I was reluctant, but in order to attend preschool she "had" to have it. Slowly after she received the shot I noticed signs...she didn't talk as much anymore, not looking at me anymore directly, smiling only when prompted, everything in life was at a hault. Physically she was the same but her mind an emotional sense was lost inside her. When I brought it up to the doctor, he referred me to a behavior specialist and the outcome was..she was on the autism spectrum. I did my research on the type of autism she had, and ALMOST EVERY article I read, 3 letters came up... MMR. In her 2 years, she showed no sign of speech delay, every mile stone was reached, she was happy and connected with everyone. That day I choose to get my daughter that shot/chemical, and I believe it stole something from her. When people CHASTISE me for not having my 2 sons vaccinated, I tell them the story and they all account it to "I'm looking for something to blame". I simply let it go, and say do the research. It will verify why I will go to any length to protect my children, and until the medical field can prove to me otherwise, I'm happy. I turn it into a joke and say.."Well everyone will be vaccinated so I don't have to worry about them getting the German measles and they pass it to my kid". Marina has had trials in her life, but nothing that she hasn't overcome herself. She is an amazing 11 year old but I will not forget that day 9 years ago. So Thank you so much for putting your voice out there so people can read and feel the comfort that they are definitely not alone.